Contract Bound
by Sombereyes
Summary: Keiichi has lived and died...and it's time that Belldandy faces a reality she knew would eventually occur. Life without Keiichi. In doing so, she walks a dark path, one far more grim that the Judgment Gate bespoke, but perhaps, in some way, that's fair...perhaps, the Judgment Gate is justified...and just maybe, fate isn't so cruel after all.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I was working on ADR when this thing popped into my mind, and I started toying with it bit by bit…that said, this story has been sitting lonely since August waiting for me to get off my ass and post it up. The chapter lengths are small because I did it in my spare time, but there are a lot of them floating around. Anyway, for those interested, below I'll post a little bit of why I decided to do this fiction…for those who don't care one way or the other, go on and bypass it…

In my opinion, the Ah! My Goddess series always seems really fluffy and sweet. Yet, beyond all of the overt displays of happiness, a sadness lingers…harsh and dark facts are often buried by the series as if to cover its own dirty little secrets. The series even does this knowingly, it's very self-aware in that regard.

Keiichi is still mortal, he will eventually die…what happens after that? Belldandy said she wanted to experience the same love and loss found in the gate. That's nice and all, but talk about putting yourself through hell…who really wants that? Furthermore, who in their right mind wouldn't regret wanting that? Lastly, she's a goddess who faced the gate purely to overcome her trials about love…so why in the name of the almighty would she step through the stupid thing, Keiichi in hand, only to know that one day she's going to have to let go of him if he stays mortal?

I'd like to think Belldandy isn't an idiot, but talk about stupid. As a goddess who grew up bearing witness to the crap of the judgment gate, and witnessing her own family's suffering because of the gate, you'd think a little light bulb would appear over her head. That it would dawn on her that possibly experiencing a loss of a mortal lover was not exactly a great idea…just saying…

But anyway, such questions lead to this fiction…

This is a Belldandy/Hild pairing fan fiction with some darker themes, and some questionable content sprinkled in throughout…That being said, just kind of know what you're getting into with this...and avoid it if you're looking for a happy-go-lucky story. You won't necessarily find sunshine and kittens here…in fact, you're more likely to sit there and go "Really, wtf!" as the story progresses more than anything else.

**TL;DR: TWISTED STORY AHEAD! It will not be everyone's cup of tea.**

**Side Note: If you are a fan of A Devil's Redemption, keep an eye out for it because either today (internet willing) or tomarrow that will also be updated.**

Don't own Ah! My Goddess.

**Contract Bound**

**Chapter 1**

Mortals did not live forever.

Knowing this, Belldandy chose to make a contract with a mortal that honored his wish to the letter. She agreed to stay by his side forever, and at the time, she took those words to be a binding agreement. Without question, she upheld her end of the contract, trying desperately to bring joy to his otherwise depressing life.

Then she started to fall in love with him, and as such, they were sent to face trials. With unwavering faith in their love for each other, they had passed through the judgment gate, hand in hand, their love blessed unquestioningly.

They continued living a life where time was borrowed by their own choice.

Their love was not everlasting, and could never be eternal. Keiichi and Belldandy were a match best made for the heavens, and, even though Tyr had offered the mortal man the life and existence of an all-powerful god, the mortal man gracefully denied the offer. He didn't want the grace of the heavens bestowed upon him any further than the luck he had already been given, and Belldandy wanted to experience a love like the one she bore witness to.

Together, Keiichi and Belldandy made the choice to live on earth as husband and wife, joined as a moral and goddess.

She chose to love him, as the mortal man he was, in spite of the tragic ending it would bring. She vowed to look after him, to watch over him as only a lover would, staying by his side until his dying breath. They were never be blessed with children, and could never be allocated the luxury to change their whims.

When creation mourned deeply, there was one demon woman, who thought otherwise. In fact, Hild found it befitting.

_It was perhaps due to such a tragic choice, that the gate even allowed them to pass in the first place. _Hild considered to herself, pondering the very notion of what the judgment gate actually was, and what it was preordained to be. _What other reason could the fickle magic have? Other than to grip the very souls that passes through it with tainted, grubby paws, it holds no meaning…no true power, only cowardly and blind authority._

"You're brooding again." A voice, one not entirely unwelcome, spoke to her. It was merely simple observation.

Yes it was enough to provoke the demon's ire. "Not brooding, you dearest little thorn in my rump." Hild replied back, though didn't turn around to face the goddess that she both respected and loathed all at the same time. "Pondering the nature of our system's structure perhaps, but I would never brood over any mere mortal, even if it was Keiichi."

"Okay, so you aren't brooding, you're mourning." The goddess said gently. "It's understandable, you know. Even for one such as yourself."

"Can it." The demon muttered disdainfully. "I'm not mourning either. I haven't the need." She did however let her thoughts drift to the man no longer among them. Her feelings on the matter were neutral at best, but even that was a feeling to be taken note of. "For what it was worth, Keiichi died a peaceful death." She spoke solemnly as she stood over the grave of the man. He was lost forever to the spiritual afterlife granted those fortunate enough to go.

"Peaceful for whom?" That was a question best left to others in creation, Anzasu knew, and yet, chose to face Hild's perspective. Knowing it would offer no sense of comfort, she braced herself for the inevitable. "I know you believe there are other forces involved, but for what reason? What forces at hand would need to prove a point, a crass one such as this no less?"

"You ask the wrong questions, you will not be granted the answers you want." Hild replied slowly. "Asking the wrong demon will also do you little good. You should be asking the system force, should you not?" Yet, even as she said it, she felt no remorse, merely a cold and bitter anger at her own inability. Truly, there was nothing she could do. Powerlessness wasn't an image she enjoyed, and she sighed, mentally reprimanding herself while comforting her friend. "I would not worry, Anzasu. All immortals heal, with time."

Hild's words cut right to the heart of the matter, and spared no ounce of propriety to do so. Anzasu didn't reply as she took in such a spiteful notion, forcing herself to bite back an icy retort in reply. It wasn't right to feud on the mortal plane. "Perhaps so, and yet, perhaps not." The goddess replied after she was sure her temper was kept in check. Her voice teetering on that ever so slender knife's edge, a warning that Hild would know well of. "Belldandy is not like most of the heavens."

"Well, I would think not…" Hild barked a soft laugh, a shallow bitterness lacing the tone as she nodded a bit offhandedly towards the grave. "She chose a man such as him, after all."

"I don't see anything wrong with that." Anzasu murmured.

"You wouldn't." Hild bit out, anger in her tone. "You are so near sighted, something this subtle would elude you." Hild spat the words as if they were venom…as if she could be the very snake that dragged unsuspecting victims down the path of temptation, coiling around them until they broke. "There is more at hand, more at the baser core, than what you want to acknowledge….more than you want to accept."

"It was always the aftermath I feared for." Anzasu admitted then. "I knew when Keiichi said that he didn't want to be a god, she would lose him one day." With a sigh, she shrugged, there was nothing she could have done. "The path that awaits Belldandy now, I fear, is not one that she can easily navigate."

"Uncanny, either way." Hild returned with the same unrelenting shallowness that many often mistook for her true emotions. The fact was, she was an adept liar, nothing more. "Is there a reason you've come to torment me?"

"I've merely come to pay my respect to my son-in-law." Anzasu told her. "I hadn't any intention of seeing you here, but, since you are, I'm inclined to wonder why."

"I may not be a saint, but even I'm not that mean spirited." Hild said, dryly. Her matter-of-fact view of the world was always what saved her from her sorrows. She knew Urd was not so lucky. "True, that he meant little to me in terms of the mortal market, but he was still a great value to me in other ways." She would never say it, but he was a good test subject…a vice of hers perhaps, to muse on in ways ill-fitting of her status. "That value, Anzasu, is not one to be taken for granted…even if he was a pest to the unholy shares."

"He cared enough to be kind to Urd." Anzasu said, knowing that meant the world to a person such as Hild. "For once in her life, because of him, she found a place to belong." In fact, that small bit of information allowed the goddess to crack a smile for a mere fleeting moment. "Earth suits her."

"Don't remind me of pointless things." Hild muttered aloofly, fearing that Anzasu would try and bring up more of Keiichi's good traits. That was something Hild wanted to keep at arm's length, unfeeling, unwavering, and none of her concern anymore. She understood that none of the goddesses would be able to merely turn the other cheek, and while Hild knew she could, she simply chose not to do so. She would give this boy reverence, this man among men the respect he deserved…but for her, that was as far as it would ever go. "His loss was a great one, but, he was indeed among the fortunate."

"That's high praise, coming from you." Anzasu smiled sadly at that.

"Truth." Hild barked, agitated at the goddess behind her. "Little more."

"Still praise. Even without intending to be, it's not something you can deny." Anzasu's words were hardly a murmur in the wind. "Your feelings are still heartfelt enough to tell me you considered him." She licked her lips. "That he was not merely a mortal for shares…not in your eyes."

Feeling the weight of her words, the depth of just what Hild could not see lurking deeply in the pit of her own soul, she nodded. Keiichi as a mortal could do what she, a demon ruler of her people, was unable to do. "I doubt it would ever be less…I would never mention less at the very least." He, as a man, could do what Tyr could not. He sought judgment, looked it in the face, and came out entirely unscathed. Hild had to admire that, at least to some small degree. "It would never need to be less…not even among the demons who thought him evil."

"I suppose you are right." Anzasu admitted, unwilling to think that maybe Hild felt more pained that she would let on.

"What will become of the girls?" Hild asked then, taking the time to finally turn away from the grave, and the flowers she had placed there. "Urd would never admit it, but she'll suffer his loss deeply."

_You are the same in that, you are a moment away from a tear, Hild. Even if you do not realize that you are. _Anzasu thought to herself, but gave no indication of that to Hild. Instead she nodded and cleared her throat. "Belldandy and her sisters are permitted an extended period on earth. They wish to stay until Keiichi's younger sister, Megumi, passes on." At that, and the sight of the three young siblings sitting atop the roof, Anzasu swallowed down a lump that had managed to silence her. Closing her eyes to force back the tears, she wavered just the slightest bit. "The girls don't know this, but the weaver of fate dictates that Megumi isn't going to last beyond a few more months."

_Then Urd will truly be alone…_ Hild swallowed hard at that, knowing Megumi was the last on earth to know of their little secret. "Old age does that to a mortal." Hild replied, her tone not giving a hint to her feelings on the matter. "It's as we decided. Not all on mortal realm should have the clairvoyance that we immortals keep in such high regard."

"Keiichi did." Anzasu told her. "He saw far more than even we could comprehend. I never knew a mortal could be as pure as he was, until I'd met him myself."

"You doubted Yggdrasil?" Hild voiced, a tiny hint of astonishment peeking through as one of her slender eyebrows raised, a visual indication she wasn't always willing to gift.

"I doubted the foolishness of family and bloodline." Anzasu told Hild with a shake of her head. "Belldandy is her father's daughter. Their hearts are one and the same."

"Tyr wavers." Hild said pointedly. "Belldandy does not." It didn't matter anymore. The end of the road always lead to the same place. Hild knew it, believed in it so firmly, that the end always justified the means. This was the end that justified the judgment gate. The end that brought a horrible pain, regardless of their blessed union. "She looks like him in many ways, but, she's far more delicate than he could ever hope to be. Just as I've given Urd the luxury to be fickle about her intended future, to renounce it outright, Tyr allows the same for Belldandy."

"You could be right about that." Anzasu admitted. "He often turns a blind eye, I've never questioned why that is."

"That's because you've never needed to." Hild nodded her goodbye, her farewell unspoken as she stepped a few paces away before teleporting away from the shrine, leaving only a gentle breeze in her wake. "Perhaps Anzasu, you should." Her voice lingered, even when Hild was no longer to be found.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Double update today since I didn't get around to it before…for those of you under several feet of snow, all I can say is that I'm lamenting for you while under my afghan sipping hot coco…may these chapters be a good excuse not to have to stick your head outside and witness the snowy white fluff known as hell that's outside…and please, drive safely in this mess.

I do not own Ah! My Goddess.

**Chapter 2**

Time was a harsh mistress.

As the judgment gate warned, there would be no solace for a goddess once her lover was gone, and Belldandy had not heeded that warning nearly enough. It was a dark truth, and one she knew she could not rectify. No matter what she did, a horrific sadness filled her heart, and she could not bring herself to smile. It was as if part of her very soul had died along with Keiichi. For some distant reason, that poison clung to her and she could not cleanse herself of it.

The truth hurt, unbearably so.

Keiichi would never breathe another breath, nor open his eyes and see her. He was a spirit, taken away to a faraway place, his memory blissfully clean of any dealings he might have had with heavenly administration. He would be at peace, warmed by the good graces of all of the goddesses and gods who honored him, respected him, and loved him as kin…family forever, even only in their memory.

It was an honor when one really thought about it. To live the life he had, bestowed upon him with one simple wish, it was more than most mortals would be granted. It was also the most beautiful death a mortal could hope to achieve, a soul carried on by the immortals who wept for him. There was nothing better than to be guided to the heavens by the blessings of the heavens themselves.

Such a thought should have been a comfort…

Belldandy should have bounced back. She knew that as a goddess, there was much more life left, eons for her to live. There was a greater creation beyond her own whims. Even if she knew that, it was as if she couldn't reconcile his loss and just what it represented. The fleeting notion that even all happiness came to an end.

Only weakness found her, and even as a first class goddess…or perhaps because she was a first class goddess, she could not push away the sorrow in her heart. It was a terrible ache that would easily be taken advantage of, and she knew it. She even wished it.

If she were to go through with her current plans, her pained desires would be manipulated…as that was what demons did. It was their nature to pray upon those in need. Yet, as she found herself weeping once again for Keiichi, she could only take comfort in the woman who slid under the perfect crimson sheets, ready to corrupt her memories in ways only a demon could.

If this happened to be any other demon, Belldandy was sure she would have flinched away in terror and regret.

It wasn't any other one though. It was a woman so powerful that she could do what others could not, and would dare to do so without a second thought. The mere threat of such an implication worried Belldandy as tanned fingers made their way across her thigh, bespeaking gifts absolutely little more than blasphemy.

"What would Urd say about this?" Belldandy's voice spoke the one thing both women thought. "If she were ever to find out about this hellish contract, the consequences would be dire."

It was an odd truth, spoken in the most simplistic of ways. Yet, it held merit, though Hild refused to answer such a question. Instead, she focused on an entirely different matter. "As the contract you desire stipulates, you may take comfort in me." Hild said with a low voice heated by her whisper. "However, I'm still unsure if that's something you truly seek."

"Take away the pain." Belldandy murmured, her lips trembling as her eyes closed, begging to be as free as she once was a long time ago…when she was not bound by the shackles of loss that so constricted her. Decades had passed, most mere mortals never even knew that a man such as Keiichi had once existed…but Belldandy knew. She remembered, she could almost hear his voice, and feel his touch in her dreams. "I am unable to go on like this. It will poison creation."

Not to mention, it tormented her.

"Are you sure girl?" Hild asked then, viewing this agreement with hesitancy, unsure of she really wanted to amuse this whim.

"A contract is a contract." Belldandy murmured.

"Indeed." Hild agreed, no truer words on the matter had been spoken. The fact that it was one to be made with a goddess was all the sweeter for unholy shares. "Yet that is not my question. You will not regret this, will you?"

"How could I be sure?" Belldandy returned. "I am a goddess, first class, unlimited license."

"I am a demon." Hild said with a smirk. "But I'm far more than that…far too much, far greater than the heavens care to express." Such a thought made Hild sigh. "You do not have to do this."

"Mustn't I?" Belldandy watched as Hild shook her head.

"Immortals work differently than that, Belldandy." Hild told her, although she was sure the girl already knew that little detail.

"I did not assume it would be so terrible." The mere thought of him called tears from Belldandy's eyes. "Death, it was merely a consequence of creation…before, that's all it had to be, and all it really should have been."

"That is all it will ever be." Hild reminded Belldandy coldly. "You've merely suffered the loss as well. He was not merely a consequence to you. His soul had a name, and that meant something to you." She reached out, taking Belldandy's hands into her own. "I could remedy this…but…" Another sigh fell from her luscious lips. "It is not needed." This was too good a contract to pass up, but, Hild would have. If the girl somehow felt terrified and retracted the request, Hild would have turned and looked the other way, just this once. "Your pain will ebb in time…though, I can't say it will happen soon."

"Make it stop." Belldandy begged. "Please, I'm begging you." Her voice shook. "Just let me forget this ache before it kills Holybell and consumes me so terribly…please."

There were potions that could have cleaned away any memory of the man she loved, but Belldandy had refused that. She needed him, even in her aching sadness, she could not let go…and yet, as she was now, she could not go on. Demons, however, had tricks they would willingly play. Spells to feed on a host, and take away such agony for a short time.

"You will always remember him." Hild murmured. "The agony you feel now, it is something transient, and it will not simply end." The cruelty was that the pain of such loss would eventually return. The cycle was a vicious one, filled with its own brand of tragic, unrelenting truth…then again, contracts with demons always were. "You're making a pact with the hells, there is no redemption in something such as that."

"Then, I will come to you again." Belldandy told her. "That is what the contract demands, unless this somehow sickens you."

"Though I am a demon, I do pride myself in my own sense of moral foundation." Hild told Belldandy, again her thumb traced that smooth, perfect thigh. "We are related by mutual relatives only. You are not of my blood, and so, I have no qualms about taking you." Even as she said that, she refused to think that such a thing didn't come with ramifications. "However, Belldandy, you speak truth. Contracts hold demands, and I will hold you to yours."

"You've not given me any." Belldandy told her, not sure about the unusual gentleness that Hild seemed to possess. "Demons are very good at bewitching and captivating others. I know deep down, that you are able to do so." Belldandy closed her eyes, a sense of shame as a goddess engulfed her. "That you would...and not out of malice." She took Hild's hand that was on her thigh and kissed it, replacing it with a soft pressure just a little higher than it had ben before. "I'm begging you to make love to me as only a demon can."

"What would your mother say?" Hild asked slowly. "Have you spoken to her? I'm sure there are gods in the heavens powerful enough to cast this spell."

"I have spoken to her." Belldandy said quietly. "It is how I know you are able to cast it." She admitted, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. "I do not think I could allow any man to touch me in good faith…knowing that Keiichi once touched me in such a way." Belldandy said, swallowing hard. "There are indeed goddesses who could perform this ritual, but I have never asked for a holy coupling, Hild."

"You would not be permitted back into the heavens again after this." Hild warned her. "You do realize you are merely a tool for me…a way in which to watch your father suffer."

It was almost comical, and if it were any other situation, Belldandy would have laughed. However, as pained as her soul was, the only thing she could do was cling onto the faint hope of momentary blissful ignorance. "Aren't you supposed to taunt and tease your pray into your vices?" Belldandy asked her, a darkness in her words. Desire to be such a victim laid open before them. "I'm not new to these games we play."

"Oh, but you're not playing with any mere demon, girl." Hild said with a soft, yet stern voice. "You should seek a god instead."

"I refuse to be touched by the heavens, because Keiichi was not a god. He never wanted to be a god." A terrible pain flooded Belldandy at that, and it seeped out of her, an angry, ill-begotten flow of power. She felt as if it was disgusting. "He refused to take my father upon his offer." The venomous nature was so powerful, that Hild was taken aback by it, and was forced to dispel it with the use of her own devilish aura…Belldandy's confession continued, engulfed by that warm demonic light that Hild cast around her…protecting her. "My mother, upon hearing my request said she could only permit it, if it was you."

Hild rose an eyebrow to that. "She permits this?"

"I do not think…rather I am sure that I will never be able to ever be as cruel as a demon." Belldandy admitted. "However, I have fallen from grace. I do not wish to stay in the heavens…" She felt as if saying these things already made her a demon, and that alone irked her. "Urd doesn't know. I don't have the strength to tell her right now…but, you know how my father feels about demons." Belldandy said, her voice so weak, Hild struggled to hear her. "It must be you."

"Alright." Hild said quietly, cupping Belldandy's cheek as their eyes met. "You must be calm, and trust within my power." The incantations of a spell echoed as chanting in the shadows of Belldandy's mind, as soft and full lips met her own, partaking her inhibitions and dashing them away, as the voluptuous woman adjusted their positions, one firm thigh slipping between Belldandy's own when she guided the goddess to lay down on the bed. "I will ease you."

It was a promise sealed with a kiss, as knowing fingers pushed a silk robe away from soft, ivory skin. Violet eyes softened when she noticed a panic rise from within the goddess, watching when an arm lifted to cover her exposed breasts. It was shameful to ask for what Belldandy had, to desire to be released from the pain licking at her heart the way a forest fire did a landscape, and Hild grinned.

It was almost cute, in its own ungodly way. "Something else?" Hild asked her, but Belldandy could only continue to shield herself.

"I have never…" She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Been touched by a female immortal?" Hild asked gently, one slender finger reaching out to caress a teasing line down Belldandy's throat, watching the young woman beneath her shudder. "It will be an enjoyable experience, I assure you."

Belldandy shook her head. "By a demon." The implication was left hanging in the air, and Hild found that the goddess amused her once more with the games she had quite obviously played. "I want to feel the true nature of one." Belldandy said, a plea there. "The rapture of the hells."

It was almost a sinister chuckle, one velvety and dark, that seemed like music to Belldandy's ears. "Of course, it is as the contrast stipulates." Hild told her, taking the goddesses arms and holding them above her head. "When I'm through with you, you will be a most precious pet." A dark seal formed on the bed around them, and lavender eyes began to glow a soft red. "I must bend your mind to my will, so you must give into the unholy melody that you hear. Only then, can this contract between us be of any use."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The other chapter upload this fiction is getting today. Yes, this one is much shorter than the other two, but that is a running theme in this fiction. The chapters are as whimsical in length as my own will to write it…

**Chapter 3**

There was something amazingly erotic about women, Hild noted as she reclined in a bath. Considering the essence on her lips, and the first class goddess she had defiled, she had to admit that Belldandy was indeed not the helpless little goddess many thought her to be. Even under a constricting mind control, she put up no will to fight what should have gone against her nature.

She was every bit a woman, perhaps tainted by her time on earth. Belldandy was not opposed to devilish things, such as kisses to her nether lips that had pulled such sweet impassioned sounds from her. She was not a demure goddess either, Hild noted, feeling the pleasant sting of scratch marks that licked at her back like fire.

If anything, Belldandy was rather young goddess to be cherished and protected, and not mere arm candy. It seemed strange that the heavens would send Belldandy, a prized goddess by far, to the realm of the hells. That Anzasu was behind the scheme made Hild a bit uneasy, and she sighed, knowing a call would have to be made sooner rather than later. She closed her eyes, searching for the only divine power source in the vicinity, noticing the weakened state, and that Belldandy would rest for a long while more. It was just as well, Hild decided, as she dialed a number that was committed to her memory.

Anzasu's private line.

"It's done." Hild spoke quietly into the receiver of her phone, stretching out more in the hot and soothing water. "I thought you might want to know."

"She made a contract, didn't she?" Anzasu asked, fearing, and yet already suspecting the answer.

"I'll be frank, but I expect you to be forthright." Hild said, feeling a great deal of pain for her good friend and rival. "The contract remains in limbo. I did not outline the details of my end of the contract. She was in no condition to agree to my terms." Hild explained, knowing that to be truth. "So, I've merely given her a taste of what could become a more regular escape. If she wants, we can make a formal documentation of my expectations."

"I did not send her there so that you could somehow choose to be kind for once." Anzasu retorted, the icy bite left no question to Anzasu's lament. Her worry was one that flowed into each and every perfect word her melodic voice spoke. Skuld might have inherited her looks and temperament, but it was Belldandy who had inherited her mother's ability to captivate those around her by her voice alone. "I expected better of you."

"Yes, that's the part that troubles me." Hild replied, examining her short, well-manicured nails for any signs of imperfections. "Enlighten me, would you?"

"Why make a play at being so daft?" Anzasu shot back, ire in her voice. "I sent her to you, Hild, because out of all the immortals I know, only you would understand."

"Because it seems to be a good game to play, don't you think?" Hild said, humor lost to the goddess on the other end of the line. "Of course I understand her plight. That is ultimately why I chose kindness." She could almost see the look that such a statement would bring. Anzasu was always a very amusing goddess to provoke, her actions much louder than her words could ever be. "Besides, I have Urd to think about. You must understand the magnitude of the situation…when she hears of this…" Hild trailed off, that was future Hild never wanted to think about. "Well, no matter. It's all water under the bridge until she finds out."

"I would request that you consider only Belldandy's situation." Anzasu told her good friend pointedly, no small amount of exasperation in her plea. "You might also consider your own."

"My own?" Hild grinned. "And why exactly would I do that?"

"It's been a long time, Hild." Anzasu sighed. "You can put the past to rest."

"I have, more or less." Hild said once her nails had been examined to her liking. "It's to be expected." As she reached for her glass of sake, she enjoyed the lapping of the water on her skin, delighting in both Anzasu's aggravation, and the warm drink she sipped. "Belldandy will move on too, if given the time…this contract truly isn't necessary."

"I understand that." Anzasu had calculated this, and had known of the risks, but even so, she wished her good friend would have been a little greedy, feeling as if such an action from the start would have been best. "I also understand she will never seek out a proper god."

"There are more than enough mortals." Hild replied, a lie, she knew. Still, she wondered if Anzasu would take the all too comfortable bait. "She could find another few decades of happiness every thousand years or so."

"She doesn't have the constitution for that." Anzasu retorted sadly. "I'm sure Belldandy thought she would be able to put a mortal behind her. I'm positive she expected to have a love very much like the one she found in the gate, but her love goes deeper. She will never get over that man. The purity of the love they shared was too strong…too blessed by the heavens."

Hild nodded even if she knew it would go unseen. Even so, she had to agree at least voicelessly. The more Hild thought of it, however, the more the truth made a burden of itself. "Losing Keiichi was as if losing a god." Hild considered slowly. "Her soul was too attached to his. Their bond unwavering and strong."

"It would have to be, to make it through the gate joined on the other side." Anzasu wanted her child to be happy again, to find some measure of solace for the rest of her long, cumbersome life. "You can understand what it means to never see the man you love again. To know you will be forced to continue on living in spite of that. That is why I sent her to you."

"If this is some sort of consolation prize, then the heavens are truly unworthy of any shares at all." Hild laughed darkly, but she closed her eyes a moment later, a sigh falling from her lips. "I will look after her for the time being, but I won't give you the satisfaction of knowing the nature of our intended contract, and I'll never allow her father the comfort of her return to heaven."

"Belldandy's happiness would be enough for me." Anzasu said. "I would expect it to be enough for her father too, if he knows what's good for him."

"Then you are indeed a better mother than I could ever hope to be." Hild said, ending her conversation. Again, she closed her eyes, sensing the divine energy as it flowed so perfectly through Belldandy's body, and again, the memory of the young woman's taste made Hild smirk.

Belldandy was an interesting little goddess, not nearly powerful enough to overcome something as heartrending and destructive as love.

Hild exited her bath and padded over to bedroom, drops of water evaporating as soon as they made contact with the floor, a trail of steam left in her wake. She loomed over the sleeping goddess, eyeing the seals that marked her face perfectly, a tiny grin slipping across Hild's face at the sight of the thin wisps of red that outlined the otherwise heavenly markings. Magical chains that would forever keep Belldandy from ever passing heaven's gates again.

Hild sat on the bed, feeling the mattress dip beneath her as she caressed the soft skin of Belldandy's cheek, and leaned over to kiss those lips left bruised by only the passion found by a demon, a female one at that. No other being could ravish a goddess so expertly without leaving the woman tattered to bits…breaking to rebuild, only to be broken again…no, this goddess was better left as she was.

A first class immortal…a first class, unlimited goddess.

An immortal kept as she was intended, without the luxuries afforded of her nature. Yes, the price was a befitting one, because in the end, it was not Belldandy who would suffer the toll. "Wake up, girl." Hild ordered softly, watching as perfect blue eyes fluttered open, peacefulness soon replaced with discord.

"Hild…" Those selfsame beautiful eyes screwed shut again when Belldandy realized she wasn't looking into the violet irises of her half-sister…but rather, Urd's mother. Bunching the sheets up around her form, her mind screaming for some measure of modesty. She was surprised when a dark purple kimono fell open around her shoulders.

"Human garb suits you." Hild said, her voice lacking any trace of warmth. She averted her gaze to the mirror of crystal she kept on the wall. "Mortality bespeaks you, even if you are a goddess."

The once burning pain that threatened to engulf Belldandy seemed little more than a dull ache, and as she dressed quietly, she realized that as painful as her love for Keiichi was, it was much more tolerable than before. It struck her as odd, and as she licked her lips finding them parched, she was also surprised to note that Hild was still naked, even though her form required no clothes.

Using magic only an immortal could summon, Belldandy scanned Hild for her true body structure, as the being that she was, able to amend her shape at a moment's notice. At first, nothing seemed to come into vision, and Belldandy searched harder.

"It's no use." Hild said after a moment. "You won't find my body easy to analyze." Hild turned to her then. "Like you, I enjoy my human structure. It offers more in the way of sensation, and I enjoy that little detail over any out-of-body enlightenment."

"Even if it causes you undue distress?" Belldandy asked her.

"What makes you think we're in hell?" Hild asked with a smirk. "Just as Yggdrasil is located on the outskirts of the mortal realm, Nidhogg is the same."

"We can support our human structures here without undue stress to our bodies." Belldandy concluded, still feeling uneasy about gazing at the ruler of demons in all of her glory.

"Well, it helps that I keep demons in my employ that can change the function of a dimension at will." Hild said with a shrug. "However, I will admit, I don't require all of my power in one place at one time." That wasn't what concerned her, in fact, she wasn't at all bothered by the tiffs she knew that were happening in her domain. The mortals were much less able to deal with catastrophe, and she preferred to watch them than her own people. "How are you feeling?"

"Emotionally, numb." Belldandy explained slowly. "Spiritually, it's as if I've trapped myself in some sort of blockade."

"You are free to wander about in the mortal realm, and the outskirts of each immortal realm as far as the administration of the system force will allow." Hild told her after a few moments. "Beyond that, the only restriction you have, will be the one my demonic power has on you...at this time, that's enough for me."

"Power?" Belldandy lifted her fingers to her forehead, feeling the warmth of demonic energy, causing a sad smile to spread across Belldandy's face. "I really am no more than a pet to you, aren't I?"

"You have no need to be any more than that." Hild told her. "As our intended contract states, I will not allow you to needlessly suffer."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

This room was her own. A personal place to escape what she was sure to be an otherwise unpleasant castle, crawling with demons. She could feel their power, the absolute unquestionable wrath of the hells. She was sure that she was an object of attention, many pondering her very being…however whether or not they found her amusing as something that she wasn't very willing to discover, and as such, she spent much of her time reclusive.

Thinking that perhaps she might wander off in search of the woman who bound her to the outskirts of the realms, Belldandy had dressed herself in a garb that had been gifted to her by Hild not long after her arrival. The finely woven kimono and other dresses were indeed beautiful, but, their opulence spoke of the truth. These were not gifts given out of good will, but rather out of merit.

A statement of her status, a reminder perhaps, of just who she belonged to.

One peek out of the door indicated as such when several demon children took it upon themselves to camp outside of her door. At first, Belldandy was unsure of what to do when the bright eyed children regarded her with a deeply invested interest. The younger ones hiding behind the older ones, peeping at her as if she were a thing that went misunderstood.

As she gazed at the little ones, she noticed some were hardly old enough to be off the hip, let alone wandering about without their parents. That knowledge made her close her door and stay in her room, fearing that to seem welcoming to the children before her might actually upset their families.

She had shut the door, and had since held up in her room knitting, waiting, and pondering the nature of the beings that lived here. Much later an older demon entered, and it was one Belldandy had encountered before, though her name eluded her.

"You busy?" The large demon asked, her raw strength not simply for show, as on one arm she carried an elaborately carved foot locker and in the other, a mirror made of crystal.

"Oh, not at all." Belldandy said, her instincts as a hostess kicking in. "Please come in." She said, greeting the large demon in question. "However, might I request your name?"

"Thrym." The demon said after a moment. "These are yours." She stood still, waiting for orders.

"I'm afraid you may be mistaken." Belldandy said with a shake of her head. "I didn't request anything."

"You didn't need to." Thrym said, her large form effortlessly placing down the items in what the demon assumed to be proper places. "When the Daimakaicho talks, you listen, then you do." It was then with a lopsided grin that she bowed, knowing any undue stress to their newest guest would mean doom for the person who caused it. "It is not a hard thing to know, and if you want to live, you do."

"So I see." Belldandy said quietly, recalling that this particular demon was often a daft one. Never one to look unthankful for a gift, Belldandy returned a smile, but she found no warmth to give. "Will you stay?"

The tall woman shook her head. "I can't." She said simply, scratching her head as she looked around the room. "Neither can you. You have been summoned."

"Alright then, after you." Belldandy stood, bowing to Thrym before the tall woman before her seemed to panic and fall to the ground before the goddess.

"Do not bow to me." Thrym said hastily. "Please, do not." Her bow was so deep, her nose pressed to the floor. The monstrous demon who could easily tower over Belldandy was reduced to a shivering ball, curled upon the floor. "You are to be treated with utmost respect. Lady Hild pointedly requested that you be treated so." It went without saying of course, the bodily harm that would come to those who disobeyed such an order.

"Then forgive me, Thrym." Belldandy said softly. "Please stand and lead the way."

"Yes." Thrym said. "If you wish it, I shall do so." She bowed again before standing carefully, leading the way through the twisted and confusing halls. As they walked, the taller demon couldn't help but take notice of the way that the goddess eyed the orphans that followed them in the halls. She seemed fearful of the demon young ones that continued to trail behind by several paces. Abruptly, the large demon stopped, and growled at the children. "You have lessons." She ordered, her hands on her hips. "Go to them."

"But we wanna see the pretty lady!" One of the smaller boys voiced from behind a much older looking girl.

"She's a goddesses isn't she?" The older girl asked.

"She's got red!" The boy said then. "Thrym, she's got red." He chanted it happily, causing his elders to sigh.

"Little whelp." Thrym growled as she picked him up by the shirt, though such a thing didn't seem to faze him. Thrym held him easily in her powerful hands, her grip careful of her raw power. "This is a goddess." She said, holding the boy in front of Belldandy, dangling him there for a moment. "Got a good look now?" She grumbled at him. "See what you wanted?"

"Yep!" He chirped happily, a smirk upon his face that didn't wane, not even when he was plopped unceremoniously back on to the ground.

"Lady Hild would be displeased to hear that you're gawking at a mere goddess." Another voice said, coming down the hallway. "Go to your lessons before one of the guards track you down. Anyone can easily hear you from here, so off with you!" This woman was a sight for sore eyes, and Belldandy took in a breath.

"Mara, so good to see you." She said, a comfort where there was once none, peace found in familiarity. Mara was at last predictable.

"Yeah, yeah." The blond demon muttered, crossing her arms. "Enough with the greetings. Lady Hild would kill me if I didn't bring you to her safe and sound." At that, Mara turned to Thrym. "Take the brats to Halval."

"I was told to protect her." Thrym said, glancing to Belldandy meaningfully. "I can't deny an order."

"Well duh, and I was told to come get her since you were taking too long." Mara reported with a grumbled and unhidden annoyance. It exuded from her in vast waves, her feelings of discord something so evident even the children had the good mind to hide behind the much larger Thrym for protection.

"Mara, about the goddess…" Thrym said then, looking to Belldandy, and then to the children, her thoughts clear.

"Ah, damn…" The shorter demon said with a roll of her eyes. "Don't worry about it…you're probably not in trouble."

Thrym nodded, and turned around to glance at the young onlookers. "I will take them to Halval, and then go back to my station."

"That's fine." Mara nodded. "I'll act as the informant." With a nod to Belldandy she turned on her heel. "Come on, Belldandy. You never keep a demon waiting." As they walked, the golden haired woman regarded her ward with a hint of confusion. "So, does Urd know?" Mara asked, one gloved hand pointing to her forehead as if to ask a question that was above her bloodline and pay grade.

"I haven't told her." Belldandy said quietly. "I will tell her, but only when I must."

"You're asking for a whole mess of trouble." Mara said, as she came to stand beside two large double doors. "Through there, I'm not permitted beyond this point without being summoned."

Grasping the obsidian handle in her hand, Belldandy pushed the thick door open, stepping inside to the hallway that was dimly lit by candles. A large vision seemed to show in the space around her, and in an obscured outline, the queen of the hells stood gazing upon the view that the magic seemed to grant her.

"Step up to podium." Hild ordered, indicating that Belldandy stand beside her. The goddess wordlessly complied, feeling as though Hild was not in the mood for trivial discussion. "This is my domain." Hild said after a moment. "I see all, I know all." Then, with a flick of her hand, the vision changed, and the view of the children from before surrounded them. "No one dares to question my authority, not even the ones who seek shelter in these walls."

"I'm afraid I do not understand." Belldandy said quietly, having noticed that there were a few children that were marked the selfsame as her. "There are divine children here, among the demons…but, they are unlike Urd."

"Orphans amuse me, even those that are not of a demon's ilk." Hild went on to say. "There are some who choose to walk a demon's path, but, before they may do so, their heart must be willing to become a demon's soul."

"That would be difficult." Belldandy murmured. "Once a doublet is in place, switching sides is nearly impossible."

"Ah, so comes the crux of the issue." Hild smirked, though her eyes held a soft fury, unspoken but not unfelt by those who chose to see into the meaning of her words. "Where we stand is the little smudge of creation. This place contains the ramifications of the system force and its rather unkind ways." Hild replied then in her usual aloof way, though anyone could see that it truly bothered her. "This is a place for souls who can't possibly be welcomed among their own kind. Unholy kindred with holy barriers, or divine kindred with unholy barriers…they are the selfsame here."

"They have no one?" Belldandy asked.

"The doublet kills, a life for a life." Hild shrugged. "That's a fair trade when there's no one else involved, but that would be idealistic." Then with another wave of her hand, the vision changed to Thrym, Mara, and several much older demons who worked in strange ways, looming over monitors or tending computers...and some of the adults sported seals of dual color much like Belldandy's own. "There's always a cost, casualties that may be left unseen."

"Those poor souls." Belldandy murmured, but Hild just laughed.

"There is bliss in such ignorance." The demon said knowingly, the lavender in her eyes taking a true joy in that, perhaps, too much. "Bliss that you, unfortunately, will never have." With a shrug, she stepped down from the podium, and poured some booze into two small cups. "These are your ilk now, your kind…you will never be granted the comfort of anything else, but, that is because you know other comfort in the first place."

"You are leaving me here." Belldandy spoke, it wasn't a question. It was a statement she thought to be fact.

"I am doing nothing of the sort." Hild said, her hand reaching out to push a strand of fawn hair behind the shell of Belldandy's ear. "I am showing you that you are not alone." She could feel her power waning, and she knew then that Belldandy would not be able to stray far from her influence. "The spell I have placed on you is actually quite a different incantation than most of them have. Yours mutes memories and emotional responses. Theirs represses their bloodline and lineage, keeping them from causing undue havoc."

"Even as you say that, I'm starting to feel as if there is no cure for his absence." Belldandy closed her eyes, and she could see him, and felt as if she could reach out and take his hand in hers once more. Such a thing would not be able to happen, she knew, but even as she felt that way, she swore she could feel the warmth of him. Then she opened her eyes, looking into those endlessly deep swirls of violet, filled with wisdom. "I miss him." Belldandy said as tears once again flowed. "I miss him so terribly, I wish the doublet would end me too."

"Soon, you will not." Hild murmured, pulling Belldandy into an embrace, humming an unholy tune filled with the incantation. "However, I must be honest with you. The contract I made with you is incomplete as of yet. I feel it is the course of action at this time." The red hue around them grew as any and all emotion was sapped from the pit of Belldandy's heart, removing it entirely from her being until she was nothing more than an empty shell, locked in a trance. "There now, come with me and I shall tend to what troubles you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"You are an uncanny being, Belldandy." Her words flowed quietly in the dead of night. "Most goddesses would not have made this contract in the same blindness that you have. It would have sickened them to even think to do so." In fact, that's what continued to prick needlessly in the back of Hild's mind. Toying with her, nagging to be quelled.

"I am not like most goddesses." Belldandy agreed quietly. "Yet I never wanted to be."

"You are not a conventional goddess by far, but even you hold exemplarity accord." Then, Hild amended her statement with a smirk pulling at her lips. "At least, you used to be held in such high regards, I have no idea how you are viewed now."

"It is not easy to live up to those standards, and I fear many would be crushed if they knew the real me." Belldandy admitted, her heart put at ease for a little while. "I don't think that I deserve such a high praise. I'm not as divine as they think me to be."

"Rather, it is because you don't think yourself divine." Hild said then, having considered that little detail at great length. "You do not consider yourself higher than others, and though you understand your place, you do not question it." Then with a little grin, she eyed the woman who warmed her bed seductively. "Then again, you do not need to. Everyone else dictates that place for you."

"Perhaps you could be right." Belldandy agreed, as she turned onto her belly so that her angel's wings could stretch out more comfortably as they protruded from her back. "I have always contented to follow the flow of creation as it so chooses. Before…before Keiichi, I never felt the need to question my station as an immortal." Saying such a thing brought a dulled a sadness her impossibly blue eyes. "Now, I not only question it, I nearly loath it."

"To be expected." Hild said, considering the white wings that were left so open to her that if she had wanted, she could have ripped the angle right from Belldandy's body. Hild had once tried quite some time ago with the intent to cause harm, and to give Belldandy a devil. The plan had failed then. "Also, to be warranted."

"Truly?" Belldandy asked. "I doubt it highly."

"You've no need." To touch those white wings now, to feel them flutter gently when her fingers caressed the feathers, rekindled fond memories from long ago. "Immortals are easy to crush, we are not as powerful as we like to think, but rather, we are no more mortal in our own societies than the mortals themselves."

"As I've always thought." Belldandy nodded, wondering what Hild was truly thinking as lavender eyes fell upon her angelic feathers. "That was why I was surprised to find that mortal lives were so condensed, more than I had first assumed. Even in the ways that they are unlike us, they are not creatures or beasts."

"True, and on that note, we should speak on the merits of this contract. It has usefulness, I'd agree without a doubt, but more can be gained if you were to look to other avenues." Hild continued gazing upon the wings with such obscure scrutiny that it confused even herself. "You should consider becoming a demon."

"Of course you would say that." Belldandy said, shaking her head. "You would have everything to gain if I were to do that." Her heart was not that of a demon, and likely would never be so dark. "The contract however…that begs a question in and of itself."

"It does beg quite a few." Hild said, pausing her attention to the feathers that amused her so. "Yours pertains to the complexities I take it, not the fine print, but the workings of the ability itself?"

"Yes, frankly put." Belldandy pulled her wings in, and turned to her side again. "The spell you put on me, it is powerful…" She pulled the blanket further up around herself, hiding her bare breasts from view. "Unlike others that I have heard and studied about…the nature of the trance…what is it?"

That was a rather complicated question, Hild had to admit. "Well, it feeds directly off a person's emotions, sealing them away for a short time. To perverse a soul in any way is far more fragile than trying to perverse a mind." Hild said after a moment of thought. It was not a strange spell, and there were many like it, but one so powerful required an equally powerful lock and key. "Because the base emotion from deep within your heart is love, it's easier to do with lust than anything else."

"Is that why you've put me in a trance both times?" Belldandy asked her. "Will you continue to do so?"

"That entirely depends on you, Belldandy." Hild said quietly. "Could you even be a willing participant outside of the trance?"

Belldandy bit her lower lip, unsure of that. She had been ravished by this demon twice, taken to heights that she couldn't fully recall upon waking due to the power that Hild used on her. She wondered if she could ever bring herself to desire such a thing. To allow it to happen without the tight control that Hild would maintain over her mind. "I do not know."

"You would have to know." Hild said quietly. "A soul is fragile in general, if it were to truly become contaminated or destroyed, there would be no saving you from yourself."

"The only reason I do not know, is because the trance seems very familiar." Belldandy explained distantly. "I only recall that this is not the first time I've had my emotions forcefully suppressed, though to what extent, I'm left unsure."

"Urd gave you a potion, in your youth." Hild said knowingly, her voice becoming gentle over the painful topic. "And it erased a very good portion of your memories when it came to one individual….does the trance bother you because of that?"

"No, it's just…it's not unlike what Urd did back then." Belldandy murmured, her fingers running over the lower part of her face as she sighed. "We pressed lips when she gave me the medicine…but it was not a simple pressing used in communal data transfer." Deciding it best not to beat around the bush, Belldandy just forced what was bothering her out into the open. "She gave me the potion through an open mouthed kiss. At the time, I was only a shadow of my former self."

"It makes sense." Hild said slowly, testing her words. "With suppression of any kind, contact found in another can often make the suppression stronger. The kiss she gave you likely strengthened the potion." A distant thought came to Hild then. "When you first came to me, you said that you had not been touched by a demon…however, you didn't deny being touched by a woman."

"I did not." Belldandy confirmed. "There is nothing to deny."

"You sought someone's help before you came to me, who was it?" Hild asked her then, unwilling to let the question go on unanswered.

"You were my last resort." Belldandy said quietly. "There is only one other person capable of the spell you cast…but, as you said before, you use a trance to help you do it." Nervously, Belldandy's eyes met Hild's. "Urd didn't put me under a trance, she was unable…she only used the memory sealing spell when I was at peak."

"The trance is a first class demon's ability, we use it to suck the emotions of our prey dry." Hild said then, pity in her voice. "Urd would not be able to use it with a second class license, even with demonic blood. Her power is simply too limited by the heavens."

"I know." Belldandy said softly. "We told no one in the heavens of what we did. To make matters worse, I…I can't even believe she even agreed to it."

"As I sometimes believe you forget, Urd is of truly demonic ilk. My bloodline is strong, and it does have some hold on her." Hild said with a shrug, reclining back on the soft feather pillow, drawing the goddess into an embrace, delighting in the softness of the woman pressed into her. "She will deviate from the expected normality, even if she doesn't want to admit it."

"But we are half-sisters, at our core, we share a father." Belldandy said with no small amount of unease. "What does that say about us?"

"Youthful indiscretion, shared at a moment of supreme weakness, says nothing more of you than that." Hild murmured. "It may speak of a shared desperation, perhaps, but that would be all."

"Even to the heavens?" Belldandy asked her.

That caused Hild to frown. "Did it ever occur to you just how much Urd envies you?" Hild asked her in reply. "Furthermore, haven't you ever considered that just maybe Urd, as a half demon, would be inclined to do anything within her power? That she would do anything to see the person she idolizes find some measure of solace?"

"What we did is not something our father would approve of." Belldandy said with a shake of her head. "She touched me, the same ways that you do…the mere thought is abhorrent to those of a first class ranking such as myself."

"If you were not in a trance induced stupor, then that means you had full control of your mind and body." Hild said with an evil smirk. "Did you touch her in reply?"

Since Belldandy could not tell a lie, she merely averted her blue eyed gaze. That alone was enough of an admission, but her next words damned her. "Urd was in pain too…bothered I believe as well, that we went as far as we did. I wanted to prove that I did not regret her, or hate her for her failure…I had to get rid of the self-loathing in her eyes somehow, and I could think of no better way, than to become a willing participant to my own selfish idea."

"I see." Hild said quietly, not particularly bothered one way or the other.

"You do not." Belldandy shook her head. "Urd touched me, because she was trying to help me put a blockade on my emotional duress. She did only as her spell book required of her…that was as far as she planned to go…as deep as her actions went." Belldandy licked her lips. "I had no motives, no reason other than to push the self-loathing from her eyes." Belldandy cried. "Yes I touched Urd…she did not deny me. She did not push me away, or tell me that I was wrong." Her beautiful voice bespoke of her sins. "I do not know if she regrets it. If she pitied me, or hates me now because of it."

"She didn't make it clear?" Hild couldn't believe that.

"I could not ask, I did not have the strength." Belldandy protested. "Urd didn't say."

Hild rolled her eyes at that, cupping Belldandy's cheek, urging the girl to face her. "Well, it appears as if Anzasu is right." Hild murmured to her, thumbing away the tears that trickled down. "You are much more of your father's making than I gave you credit for…I never denied Tyr, and he never did ask me how I felt about it…but perhaps for him, Urd was enough of an answer."

"He is also not your brother." Belldandy sighed.

"Urd is also not fully a goddess by blood." Hild reminded her. "In a demon's eyes, circumstances alone mean nothing…the intent behind the action does."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm going to assume that the guest who spoke about the Belldandy and Skuld fan fiction meant that they were looking for a romance themed one between the two of them. I have not worked on a story such as that...though it may be an idea to keep in the back of my mind for the future. At this time I have no summary for a Belldandy/Skuld pairing...though it would be something I'd consider doing a 1 shot for if such an idea generated enough interest...

It is something to think about at any rate...I'll put up a poll on my profile...those who have an FFN account to can vote on it, and I'll decide after Christmas if I will or not...I'll put up another a/n on a few other stories, see if the pairing generates interest.

**Chapter 6**

It was a sense of power, warm and yet so unlike her own, that continued to chain her so expertly to Hild. A power that gave Belldandy plenty of freedom to do mostly as she wished, even if she would never be able to step into heaven's sanctuary ever again. Belldandy wasn't as pained by that as she thought she might be, but when she considered the reason why, it became all too apparent.

She enjoyed earth, and she was permitted there.

She could walk the forests without a second thought, so long as she didn't go around tossing good fortune every single place she went. Shares were to be kept balanced, but that was a law that went unchanging. Much of her time was spent exploring Keiichi's world, understanding earth more and more, her fixation on mortals apparent…perhaps, because she could not let go of Keiichi in the depths of her heart, she was even less willing to let go of the idea that mortals still thrived, and that she could find herself a place among them.

Money was not an object she worried about anymore, and as a goddess she had no need to consume actual food or drink unless the system force decided to have another fit, as it seemed to do every so often. She could have stayed in japan, she was sure that such a thing would have been an expected comfort, but the more she traveled, she realized that it was not Japan that could use the expertise of a goddess first class…and that there were more places suited to her way of life.

More places of primitive means, where a goddess who knew the relics and lore of history would be better suited to offer aide, and not always with magic. To say that Belldandy found herself to be a nomad was something nearly comical at best, but her pilgrimage from one country to the next on foot allowed her a perspective that many in the heavens would gawk at.

Yet, even with that freedom, the bindings around her heavenly markings demanded that she return to Hild often, and when she did, she often brought trinkets from her travels. As she walked through the halls of the bowels, a place she didn't often visit since it was located deep within the hells itself, she tried to ignore the demons that paused to watch her…to ogle her as the prized child of Tyr, the child scorned from the heavens.

If they thought that detail amusing or depressing, Belldandy was not sure.

"Back so soon?" Hild asked as she came strutting down the fine leather carpet that led into her throne room. "And here I thought you'd be gone at least another fortnight." Her gaze grew almost apologetic then. "I would have returned to the outskirts if I'd been informed."

"I can't possibly stray away from you for that long." Belldandy replied with a sigh. "Your power doesn't allow it."

"No, I suppose it doesn't." Hild said with a nod. "Then again, I never intended for you to last this long…quite the opposite in fact, as I thought you would reject the power and flee in terror long ago."

"And in doing so, I would have broken down, and likely died from the withdrawal, am I correct?" Belldandy asked her, to which Hild shrugged.

"Safeguards Belldandy….safeguards…there is one other person able to remove the seal from you…I had to plan it so." Then she began to continue her pace as Belldandy followed behind. "I could not simply kill you, the doublet would complicate the matter…though, if you were to have died because of the heaven's own inaction, well, then I suppose it would be something out of my control." They made their way to her personal living space, something much smaller and comfortable.

A place, that if Hild were honest, she frequented far more than the other rooms in her domain. "It may interest you to know that the heavens want you back." Hild had received noticed, and grinned as she thought about the pain it would bring to Tyr. "You have now been officially removed from heaven for precisely one hundred years, and in that time, they've come to the conclusion that our contract is no more than a ritualistic sealing."

"You must be joking." Belldandy said with a sad smile, shaking her head. "A contract such as this is nothing like a normal seal in a vessel. I'm allowed autonomy to some degree, and that alone says that this is not a normal seal."

"Perhaps you should call the heavenly council and tell them that." Hild murmured. "The heavens will fight for you, and I have no desire to start a war over something as worthless as Tyr's resolve…he has none after all, as flighty as he is...the game is over."

"I am not going back to heaven." Belldandy said with a shake of her head. "I refuse it!"

Hild raised an eyebrow to that, and she licked her lips. "Belldandy, perhaps you should consider your position in all of this. It would behoove you to do so…you are a goddess who belongs nowhere." In fact, this wasn't goddess-like behavior by far, and that was a small concern, considering that such behavior was an abnormality not caused by the seals. "Earth has no true place for you, and you'd never be welcomed among our demonic society as you are." She sighed as she considered that. "Perhaps you should return, for the sake of your sisters, and your mother."

"My father, while a very loving and giving man, has always lacked foresight." Belldandy told her, as her hands formed fists at her side. "He tries to do what he feels is best, but since he can't see beyond his own nose half of the time, what he feels is best, is often little more than troublesome hassle."

"Now that, I can agree with." Hild replied as she made some tea for them in the modest kitchenette she kept well stocked. "How I feel of Tyr's actions and motives aside, you might consider that in these hundred years, you've not once called your family."

"Why give them hope?" Belldandy shook her head. "I'm not that cruel."

"Four hundred years is all that you have left to prove your case." Hild replied, though, even if the heaven's demanded Belldandy back, it wasn't as if she could ever go beyond the administration systems. "Under the summons, it says it will treat this situation like a ritual summoning, meaning you have decisions to make."

"What decisions?" Belldandy retorted. "Have I not made it clear to you? I shall not return. I refuse heavenly light!"

"Then, perhaps you should consider forcefully changing your programming." Hild told her once the tea was made. "It is not impossible to do so."

"I am by no means demon either." Belldandy murmured. "The problem is, my identity is not something I will give up. I refuse to pretend that I am a demon. I am not one within the pit of my heart. I can't possibly give anyone the satisfaction of believing I'm one faction or the other. That is no longer the case."

"You desire this half acceptance?" Hild asked her, bothered by that, as it went against every basic nature an immortal had. "One where you shall never be truly accepted because you walk that fine line…one so unnatural to an immortal, it makes you seem as if you are every bit a monster?" A dark chuckle fell from Hild's lips. "Now that is something Urd would resent you for…if she heard that, it would cause her such harm. You do know that, don't you?"

"I believe she knows." Belldandy replied slowly, and in earnest. "That someplace, deep down, she's always known how I've felt about our system and how it runs...I think, sometimes, that's why she was as forceful as she was when it came to Keiichi." Saying his name never seemed to get any easier, but at least she knew the constricting feeling in her heart would subside in a matter of moments once Hild's powers overcame her. "She wanted me to be accepted into a world that only she could understand. Mortals are not so different from Urd…not so different from me. Keiichi, said so himself."

Hild shook her head. "Belldandy, that man was more a half-god in ideology than a mere mortal." The tea was left forgotten as she took the young woman into her arms, watching the depth of pain in blue eyes…five hundred years would not nearly be enough time to forget a life such as his. "He could do what most mortals could not, and he was closer to you, than you will ever be to his kind."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Gotta love December, huh? It's freezing, the roads are filled with insane lunatics who don't watch out for us pedestrians (I use a bike, not a car…cars are too expensive.) and stores mark up the sticker prices so that they can put on a "sale" that brings the marked item down to the original price…yep, that's been my experiences thus far during my Christmas shopping.

Anyway, that's why updates profile wide have been lacking. Thought I would give this some love first, though updates to a few of my other stories are coming this weekend. Hope you enjoy this.

**Chapter 7**

Hild had spoken with a definitive edge to her voice. One that wasn't exactly harsh, but not entirely kind either. Cool and easy going, and yet, distantly angry.

_"__He could do what most mortals could not, and he was closer to you, than you are to his kind." _

It was a ghosting echo that the goddess could not escape. The words rang true in Belldandy's ears, even if she didn't really want to admit it. Deep down, she liked the mindless acceptance of her own being. Goddesses tended to nod their head obediently to the greater universe, it was a core function of their nature. Yet, that was not entirely true for Belldandy, who through time had learned to question even the most fundamental ideal. She could not simply nod anymore, could not turn a blind eye, for the sake of salvation.

Keiichi was not a mere mortal when it came to his mind, he was indeed more half-god…Belldandy sighed at that…had been, and yet, such a future would never be. It couldn't be.

_And perhaps that is not the only thing to consider. Maybe, just maybe, Urd is not the only one who is half demon._ Belldandy thought to herself. _In spite of the license I hold, can I truly be considered a full blooded goddess? Am I so valued, even now? It isn't as if I can be of use like this, can I? _For all of the questions that lingered in her mind, she had no answers for any of them.

She spent the afternoon watching the young children who harassed Mara at every turn. Some of them were from the heavens too, and yet carried seals that prevented them from ever entering that place again. This was their home, and the only place most of them would every truly accept as such. Most of them would likely bend the rules, and become demons. In return young demons might actually find the light, might choose the heavens one day. If it was meant to be that way remained to be seen. Whether particularly unorthodox or not, crude and ill-planned, Belldandy didn't know.

Young gods and goddesses alike stood side by side with these demons, and none of them knew any better…or, if they did, they didn't seem bothered by it. Instead, they seemed very much like the people of earth, full of preconceived notions and judgments. Blinded by what they did not know and hateful of those who hated them...uncomfortable by those they did not understand, and angry that they, themselves, remained so misunderstood.

_So...where does that leave me?_ Belldandy wished that could be an easier thing to accept.

"You are troubled." Hild said as she came to stand by Belldandy's side.

"I am." Belldandy nodded. "However, it has nothing to do with Keiichi."

"But it does include the contract." Hild told her, lavender eyes scanning the courtyard in front of her. "Something undefined leaves you displeased."

"It does a little, I suppose." Belldandy said quietly as she swallowed hard. "I was merely thinking of my position. You said that I should, so I am."

"Oh?" Hild lifted an eyebrow at that. "Fortuitous thought, but such an answer should be clear, shouldn't it?"

"What should be, isn't always what will be." Belldandy replied quietly. She turned away from the beautiful view. "I should be in the heavens right now, I know that."

"If you know, then why aren't you?" Hild asked her. "Why linger?"

"Doing so won't be gratifying." Belldandy turned to her, lifting her fingers to the warm seal that surrounded her holy markings. "Even if I were to go to the heavens, I'd only be permitted to the outskirts."

"It would be close enough for some to reach you." Hild replied gently. "Those that matter would take the time to visit, and others would at least send word of some sort." Tapping her fingers on the railing she sent a casual glance to the side, watching the goddess that had been dependent on her. "You, with some restraint, have the best of all worlds. There is nothing lost in that."

"Goddesses have a particular pride." Belldandy shrugged sadly. "As it stands, it isn't as if I can work at the helpline anymore." Belldandy only frowned, shaking her head as she dropped her arm back to her side. "My position has changed, and whether or not it is for the better remains to be seen." As she said then, she stepped forward, looking up, deeply into Hild's soft, cool gaze. "In spite of that, it is my position…and thus, it is my place."

Hild was surprised when soft, quivering lips found hers of their own volition. That the instigator of that feather soft kiss was the goddess who normally relied entirely on mind control to forget her pain, to shun it away, as if it had never even been there.

This however was freewill, the action a startling one. To feel the uneasy urgency in that kiss made Hild sigh into it. Belldandy had parted Hild's lips forcefully, lacking any true confidence in what she was doing. Her nature as a goddess got the better of her.

She pulled away, breathing deeply and closing her eyes in shame. "Even the heavens have an end to how forgiving they shall be. There is always a condition, and I doubt I can forgive myself this time."

"Foolish creature." Hild murmured, guiding Belldandy to look at her. "It isn't wise to toy with fire."

_No, it surely wasn't._ Belldandy thought to herself, eyes wide. "I-I wasn't attempting to cause any trub-" A thumb silenced her.

"What makes you think for a moment that coming onto me is a wise idea?" Hild asked, but expected no reply. "Then again, you are indeed a goddess, and so few of them have what it takes to get their feelings across to another immortal." In fact, so few acted on impulse the way this angelic creature did…uncanny…Hild had always felt that way about the three norns. Always thought them, and the people they interacted with, to be deviants in their own ways. Completely ill-fitting of the normalcy and protocol that creation demanded of them.

As Belldandy pulled away, Hild considered the woman before her…the goddess that so chose to willingly make her desires so open, so known, to a being such as herself. Goddesses knew better than to fraternize with demons like that. "There are very few who make a move on me and live to speak of it." The demon murmured, her eyes set aglow, red and yet not angry…though such a look could also be a deadly one, in the wrong place at the wrong time. "Does my power frighten you?"

Belldandy had to admit, she should be terrified, and yet, the deep red glow did nothing other than send a shiver down her spine, and even that was oddly pleasant…thrilling in its own way. "I would consider it cautious respect…but not fear." Belldandy wanted nothing more than to have that gaze linger on her further. "In fact, I would fear the golden eyes of the heavens, more than I could ever fear the crimson eyes of the hells."

"You have no idea just what you're asking for." Hild said then, cold, but not without some measure of truth. "Without the trance, you'd surely think yourself inept to seek anything from me, and rightfully do."

"I know better than my father ever could have hoped to understand." Belldandy told her. "This is not the first time I've sought sexual congress in a being unlike myself…however, it is the first time I've ever seen a being able to react in lust without the aid of the gate."

"I'm stronger than the gate in some respects, able to deny its order." Hild replied, a heat to her tone. Soft, silky, and entirely willing to let seduction drip from every word as it slid off her tongue. "However, you should not be able to desire anything from me willingly, it goes against our most basic codes."

"I am not." Belldandy confirmed. "I feel no desire that could be described as lust as we stand here now…"

"Yet you would cross that line?" Hild shook her head. "Asking for what you do not innately desire? We are not the same, we aren't even meant to be speaking, let alone to be acting out of the bounds of our agreement."

"I see no other way to get you to understand." Belldandy backed away then, only enough to remove her own fastenings, her clothing dropping to the floor piece by piece. "I will not leave your side, binding seal or not. It could be removed right now, and I would not leave."

"You provoke me further?" Hild shook her head. "You've lost your mind."

"I've lost many things." Belldandy agreed. "My faith in the heavens, the man I love, even my own sense of decorum as a goddess." She did nothing to cover herself as she stood before Hild, an invitation in her lack of modesty. "However, my mind is not among those things. I understand fully what my action brings down upon me." It wasn't as if she was attempting to strike a pose, or lure the demon into a trap that was not truly there. She merely stood, an offering of both an unspoken plea and captivating desire.

"You understand nothing…" Hild murmured slowly. "The heavens you hail from make it impossible for you to do so."

"In spite of that, you covet this...it is within your nature as demon to desire, to own, to take what you believe is yours." Belldandy told her.

Hild sighed at great length. "I am no mere demon, I am not so pathetic." Her lips tightened into a thin line as she grit her teeth gently, just enough pressure to indicate the tensing of her jaw. Strutting over to the naked goddess before her, she bent down and gathered her clothes, handing them back to her. "There is only one thing I've ever wanted, and not even you can grant me that." The one thing she wanted most was invaluable, no price could be put onto it, and that was the thing that hurt the most.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The warmth was gone when her eyes had fluttered open the next day.

The fire that so pleasantly burned no longer existed, and when she woke, she felt as if a fog had lifted from her mind. Tired, and spent from her earlier passions, she lay emotionally spent and disheveled, fully aware of what had taken place, of just who she chose to bed down with without a trance to numb her senses and withdraw from her even the capabilities to deny advancement.

On the contrary, she had begged for it…

Had begged Hild until even the demon queen could not turn a blind eye any longer.

Belldandy wished it so deeply that one kiss had led to another and another, until finally she had been placed upon crimson sheets, the soft smoothness against her skin a sharp contrast to the warmth of the woman above her, who's own attributes left nothing to go unwanted, or unsought of. It was not a kind coupling, but rather raw and breathless. Marks covered her, and yet even that was not something that Belldandy would expect less of. Hild was exemplary make of her pride and her people.

Even as Belldandy sat up, her fingers bushing the seals atop her forehead, she could not deny, she would do it again.

She would enjoy this life, of all it could be afforded, but what bothered her now, was that the seal was gone…her one luxury, her one way to escape her memories removed from her person, and she wondered just what that might mean. She took a breath, and got out of bed, materializing her clothing onto her form with a quick prayer, as she set off in search of the demon responsible for causing her such confusion.

She stopped in her tracks however, when a familiar voice reached her ears as an argument seemed to echo from down the hallway.

"This is ludicrous!" It was Urd, and to say she sounded livid, was the selfsame as calling a rabid blood thirsty hellhound merely a timid puppy. "Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now?"

"We made a contract, informal though it was at the start. An agreement is an agreement. She was a consenting individual and an active party in the agreement we made." Hild, for her part sounded unamused. "It does not concern you." As though she was every bit the cold and calculating queen her daughter thought her to be.

"If it concerns Belldandy, then it sure as hell concerns me!" Urd shouted with an air of shock. "What goddess in her right mind would make a contract with you? That's just…just…" Belldandy could hear the pain in Urd's voice…the inability to comprehend the nature of why a goddess might fall so low. "It's just so inconceivable I had to come down here to find out just what you did to her."

"Nothing that you haven't attempted, my little Urd." Hild said, and Belldandy winced as she leaned on the wall, unsure of just what Urd might think about that. "Nothing that you didn't wish upon her yourself."

"I would never wish for a goddess to be defiled by a demon." Urd spat. "And never by one so awful…"

"You wished to sap away her pain." Hild replied evenly. "I've done so, and make no mistake, that is all that I have done."

Belldandy lifted her hand to her forehead again and sighed. The sight of her like this would not be taken well by her older sister, and Belldandy swallowed hard, unsure if retaining the seal atop her face would have made the situation worse or not. With a breath, she forced the door open. "Urd, please do not cause discord here." Belldandy said, loud enough to draw attention to herself. "There is enough strife without the need to bring more."

"Thank almighty…" Urd breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her younger sibling. "When word got out that you went to the hells, I thought the worst."

"Mother did not tell you?" Belldandy asked, as Urd hugged her, throwing Hild a confused look, but the ruler of the hells merely shrugged.

"No." Urd said, the exasperation apparent. "She didn't…when asked, she refused to even tell our simpleton of a father." Throwing an angry glare over her shoulder, she bit out an angry admission. "Someone sent us a letter. I was sure she was keeping you over our heads."

Belldandy shook her head. "No Urd, of course not." The goddess licked her lips, and offered Urd a gentle smile. "It was hard to be in heaven…to even think about it is…is..." Without the chain on her emotions, everything began to flow back into her and she crumpled to the ground. "I can't…I just can't Urd."

Urd fell to the ground with her, pulling Belldandy close when tears sprung from her eyes. "Belldandy...what..." Urd couldn't form the words, fearing to do so. Asking felt so final, and Urd didn't want that.

"Do you understand now?" Hild asked, and without difficulty at all, she manifested the tightly bound chain that kept Belldandy's seal and memories in check. "The girl is exhausted, merely an image of her former self." She went to the young goddess of only a few eons, embracing her into a hold, watching Urd's sickened expression without an ounce of remorse for her actions. "Without someone around to ease that suffering, she will continue to live in that type of soul rending pain."

"What kind of monster would think to bind a heavenly seal with demonic power?" Urd swallowed the bile that twirled in her gut as if it just might burst from her. "How could you even think to do it?"

"A better question." Hild offered then. "Why would her mother send her to me, knowing that this is something I would do?"

The question was one that gave Urd reason to pause, and she took a step backwards, dismayed by the implication that sat laced between the words. "Anzasu….wanted this?" Urd wouldn't believe that. "You're lying…there's no way anyone could ask for that."

"Oh, but why stoop to falsehood when the truth hurts so much more?" Hild asked her child. "I'm a demon, aren't I…doesn't it behoove me to cause as much maliciousness as I can?" She grinned darkly. "Why lie, when this way, I can easily rip the happy little home you so love in half…I can cast it asunder, merely by the truth."

"Hild, please." Belldandy would not be willing to part from the warmth she so desires, yet, she could listen to no more of this. "You do not mean that kind of harm, and, it is time the truth comes to light." She shrugged herself out of Hild's embrace, looking her sister in the eyes. "Urd, this practice, it is not uncommon…it is not without particular merits." She turned to look at Hild then. "Mother knew of this practice because she once took part in it herself."

Hild sighed…that little detail was not one she ever liked to consider. "It's true." She said, her magic was powerful enough to hide the blue wisps from view, even if they would never be gone from her so long as she lived, unless Anzasu herself, removed them. "Time passes, and the use for the magic fades as the heart in question mends…however, there was a time, before you were born, and even when you were very young…" Hild trailed off, it was not a memory she liked to remember.

Urd swallowed hard. "You're lying."

Hild's admission continued, merely because she had no other choice. The odds were no longer in her favor. "During that phase in my life, I was dependent on Anzasu…I relied on her for most everything…I was scorned by the gate, ripped away from your father, and I was pregnant with you." Hild had to admit, in spite of their tense friendship, she owed the woman a great deal. "I was a ruler to my people, I didn't have the luxury of weakness, and had it not been for Anzasu, I would have grown to be a much more vicious demon, of that I'm most assured."

"As if you are a kind one?" Urd groused, still finding it hard to believe, until Belldandy came to her side.

"It is the truth." Belldandy pressed. "It is why…when we attempted the seal, it would not work." Belldandy said then, a shame lingering in blue eyes. "A second class goddess can't perform the sealing…only a first class goddess can…and the trance used by a demon can only be used by a first class demon."

"You needed a demon, so you came to the best of the best, is that it?" Urd found that hard to take in. "Do you realize the magnitude of what that means? The implications are beyond what the heavens would accept."

"I have no intention of returning." Belldandy murmured. "I would much rather stay here."

"You don't mean that." Urd said with a bitter smirk. The tugging at the edges of her lips trembled with unanswered questions, and unresolved pains that Urd would never see fit to address. "Belldandy, come on, you know you don't belong here."

"Here I am understood." Belldandy said quietly. "I may not be welcomed among the demons, but I am not expected to pretend to have happiness that I do not have. I've no need to find an unfounded strength, that at this time, I simply do not possess." A little quieter, she nodded her head to the next admittance. "In that Urd, there is a comfort…Hild asks no more of me than to go against father's whims, and right at this moment, you have no idea how easy such a request is."

"I know that tone…" It was one that sent a cold chill down her spine. "You used to defend Keiichi in that tone…you used to coddle Skuld and I with that selfsame expression, that gentleness when you were afraid we might do something to upset him, and in turn, you." She took a backwards step. "Almighty in heaven, Belldandy..."

"If you understand that much, please, be the goddess you proclaim to be and turn the other cheek." Belldandy asked of her sister.

"Are you crazy!?" Urd shouted. "Belldandy, that's my mother, the ruler of hell!"

"I am well acquainted with that aspect of her identity." Belldandy agreed, a gentle, but beseeching bite in her words. "The heavens would never allow us to forget it, but, perhaps maybe you of all people should."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing." She put her hands to her face, not believe at all what her younger sister had voicelessly admitted. "How can you love her?" Her voice was muffled by her hands, but her terror in the mere thought of it was not. "How is that even possible?!"

"That word…love…is a strong word." Belldandy said hesitantly. "A word that by creation and its laws alone, is a word I am unwilling to say."

"I can't overlook this…" Urd said, troubled, because she knew this was one lie she couldn't keep, else she face her own criminal charges. "If I go back up to heaven, and they ask me what happened, I can't lie about this, or it'll be on my record that I was conspiring with Hild. You know what kind of backlash I would face for that…" Urd sighed then. "My blood alone condemns me on good days."

"I'm not asking you to lie for me." Belldandy said, knowing her request was a difficult one for her sibling. "I'm asking you to give me your blessing in this." Belldandy doubted Urd would have the strength to do so, this grievance was too far. Too blind to Urd's own needs. This was wrong, on so many levels, but Belldandy had known that from the start. "You don't have to like it, or approve..." Belldandy finally said when furious lavender eyes cut into her. "At least allow me the freedom to make my own choices without your reprimand."

"This is bullshit." Urd said, it was all she could say to the matter. "I'm going for a walk."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Welcome to the New Year, hope you are all having a great time here in 2015…this is kind of a heavy installment for this chapter, but to be expected since it is between mother and daughter. For those of you who do not yet know, Upon Open Wings is a fan group, of various fandoms just starting out. Right now, we are largely into the Mai HiME population, as that is mostly whose joined up with us, but I'd like to expand into other fandoms as well…as is the desire of many within the fan group. The Sailor Moon fans are also there, although we are still very, very small…

Anyway, if you'd like to check us out, and maybe join up, we're always looking for new fans across all pairings (not only cannon) and all fandoms. So why not come check out the prompts, join up in the chit chat, and just become part of what we hope to be a thriving fan community…as you know, I'm fairly passionate about Ah! My Goddess, so I hope to see you there so that we can add another fandom to this awesome community. (BTW there's a few final fantasy fans as well)…

Anyway, on with the fiction!

**Chapter 9**

Hild was not a person to be forgiving of the past, but she was equally unforgiving in her expectations of herself. She might have seemed cold, but in truth, she was warmer because of her failures. Her own loathing, that most demons buried deeply. Hild kept hers proudly at the forefront of her very being, and demanded that many bow down to the honesty of the things she refused to hide.

There were many things she would not say about that time long ago. The distance was alarming, and even if on some level she could come to terms with the truth, there was no justifying what had transpired. She would never say it aloud, and Anzasu wouldn't dare to acknowledge it, but the gate was not meant to exist. It was, as some in creation thought, little more than a purgatory.

However, unlike the one most mortals would pass through on the way to their spiritual destiny, the judgment gate held secretes. Murmurs of the pain caused by immortals, and foolishly, those who stepped into the gate were often unable to exit untarnished. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe, that was what kept the divide so decidedly torn, and why the gap between the heavens and hell would never be bridged.

Not because it couldn't be, but because creation itself refused to allow such a thought to begin with.

It was strange seeing her daughter standing in observation. Towering over the very hells that she had so willfully denied time and time again. Casting aside any ties she might have held dear. That Urd stood on that very balcony was a dream that Hild had never allowed herself the luxury to have.

How long she had dreamed it? How often had she desired it?

It had been Hild's greatest wish to stand beside the man she desired to be her king. Yet, she had never gotten the chance to witness the one thing that she had desperately wanted the most.

Tyr was never permitted to the hells, and as such, the vision of a father showing his little girl the lands that would be hers, died, the moment that Hild had come out of the other side of the gate…but she could still beg the system force, still pray to the fates that her only daughter would return and accept that which was hers…it might have been vain, and it wasn't at all realistic, but Hild felt, deep down, that it was her right as Urd's mother.

Even if that was a fruitless dream, it was hers to have and hold dearly in the depths of her heart until her dying day.

"What will it take?" Hild asked Urd as she stood in the doorway. "How can I possibly get you to understand?"

"Belldandy is a goddess." Urd said, a quiet rage that was not unlike Hild's own in the face of adversity tarnished her normally soothing voice. "You are a demon." In Urd's mind, it was that simple. "It's impossible."

"Well, I doubt that. You see, there must be something." Hild replied equally soft. "Everyone has a price, a limit that they will concede to." She crossed her arms. "Even you have one, Urd." She said sauntering over to peek upon lands that bowed to this one lair in unity.

"You can't pay it, so I won't ask for it." Urd said quietly. "You're too weak, and I'm not that big of a bitch."

"Urd…I am what I am." Hild said quietly, coming to stand by her daughter's side. "I refuse to think someone as powerful as I am could ever truly fail in any task." With a smile, she shook her head only the slightest bit. "You and I are not so different, we are not so blind to the way things work...I would not fail you now."

"But you have before." Urd told her. "Everything you've done has been one failure after another."

"I don't believe that's the case." Hild said sadly. "I see you, and who you are today, and I don't regret leaving you in heaven."

"What a load." Urd smirked bitterly. "It's easy to lie, isn't it?"

"No, it's true." Hild murmured. "There were times I doubted that. Especially before you met Keiichi, but that boy changed you…forced you to realize that not everyone in creation was out to judge you, to hate you, in spite of who you are." It was funny, painful too of course, but far too ironic in ways that were left in shadows once Keiichi had passed on...and whether or not Urd would say it didn't matter. Her daughter had loved the boy dearly, and had stood by his side quietly, watching as he continued to love another until his dying breath.

"I don't see how that matters." Urd said swallowing hard.

"He broke barriers in you." Hild shrugged then, seeming not to care at all. "Ones that I don't even think you knew about."

"But that was earth, not heaven." Urd told her defensively. "You had nothing to do with him."

"You met Keiichi through Belldandy…you met him because you were uncomfortable in the heavens without your sister at your side." Hild said, it was all moot now, but she still held fast to her belief. "Belldandy has hallways accepted you, and you needed that…everyone needs that Urd."

"Is that why she's here?" Urd bit out. "Because you think you can use her to get to me?"

"I'm not asking you to come home, and I'm not trying to force your hand." Hild sighed, wondering when Urd began to hate her so much. It was the absence that had ultimately caused regret, but Urd truly hated her. Hated and feared what she thought she might one day become. "However, this is your home too, Urd. You real place here, in these walls. Whenever you want it, it'll be yours."

"I don't want it." Urd groused.

"You don't belong here, I know that, baby-girl." She wondered if Urd would actually believe her. "But, maybe Belldandy does…maybe she's found something that you can't understand." She licked her lips, and looked down at the world that was her own. "You need to stop fighting everything so god-damn hard, honey, or it's only going to hurt more." With as much power as she had at her command, it was horrible to think that Urd made her feel so completely powerless. "There are some things you just can't beat."

"This should have been my life." Urd murmured, angry and lost. "With you and dad…"

"I agree." Hild shrugged a distant yet bitter smirk playing on her lips. "It should have been my life too."

"Then what the hell happened?" Urd's voice cracked, and she gripped the stone railing. "How could you screw that up?"

"Life." Hild tried to say, feeling as if that just didn't cut it. "Life happened, and like it or not, I can't do anything to go back and change it."

"Do you love her?" Urd finally asked.

"Urd…that's-"

"Damn it!" Urd cut Hild off. "Do you love her? Yes or no."

"How I feel truly doesn't matter." Hild told her. "The gate doesn't think about that…it prays on fears, distorts your feelings, and makes you weak…it'll rip you to shreds, and fill your mind with doubt." It made her so angry to think about. "Love doesn't matter…it's not about love, Urd…it's about resolve." Hild swallowed hard. "It's about knowing the odds will always, _always_, be against you. To want to be in love in spite of that…to have the _strength_ to see it through no matter what it means."

"Then can you at least do that?" Urd asked her.

"What do you think?" Hild merely looked at her daughter. "You tell me. Can I do something such as that?"

It was an honest question aimed back at her. Urd could sense it. "You could." Urd finally said after weighing the question heavily in her mind. "But you won't."

"Urd, answer me something, honestly." Hild said then. "It's the only question I think I've never had the answer to, but it's the one I think I want the most." After a breath, mother and daughter met, eye to eye. "Why do you take a form that most resembles me?"

Urd said nothing and averted her gaze.

Hild smiled sadly, bitterly, angry for asking the one thing, the one tidbit of proof that gave her all of the answers she ever needed, mixed with all of the questions she could never really ask. "You have your father's heavenly code mixed into your data. You could chose to resemble him, to arrange yourself to appear in his image instead of mine." However, Urd looked decidedly like Hild. It was a choice to appear that way. "Yet, you look as if you are my child, there is no question that we are related, even to the naked eye of a mortal."

"Tyr already has the perfect daughter." Urd said distantly. "Belldandy didn't choose his complexion, it's darker than our own, but she surely chose his features to emulate."

"That she did." Hild agreed. "I see a great deal of him every time I look at her, but that was not my question."

"I'm not going to give you an answer." Urd finally admitted. "However, for Belldandy's sake, I'm going to go back to heaven. I won't say a word...but, I won't hide it either." Urd began to walk away, and then turned back. "There is a price you could pay me...it would be for you to face the gate again...but I know you would screw that up. That's why I'd never ask."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I didn't have much time for writing this week, so instead of working on a longer project, I choice one that has a usually short chapter length...that, and it get's a little depressing that Hild is no longer in ADR, and I really like Hild as a character, so it just sucks greatly.

**Chapter 10**

Belldandy enjoyed the castle more than she likely should have. It had little to do with the splendor and refinery that came expected of the place. Rather, it was because of the quiet joys found within the walls. The safety gave her something she couldn't quite describe. It wasn't exactly warmth...but it wasn't entirely sadness either.

When she wasn't busy grieving the loss of Keiichi, or wondering about what difficulty she would encounter next, she took even greater solace in Hild's protection. The feeling of the woman beside her during those times, seemed to simply fit.

True, the demons avoided her unless Hild ordered otherwise. She didn't mind that many didn't give her the time of day. As lonely as it might have seemed, Belldandy didn't really want a lot of company. She craved peace of mind. Hild provided that. Anything else that could be assumed of their relationship revolved around that agreement.

But…love?

As a goddess, the term left much to be desired. Yet, those of the underworld didn't love the selfsame as the heavens. Regardless of how Belldandy might have felt, the truth remained the same. She needed Hild. It was a very sobering thought. One that brought Belldandy great difficulty.

That she had become so dependent on another, a demon at that, was irksome. Yet, depend on Hild she had, and without question that dependency had become a vice. Now, it was one she would not willingly give up.

Still, dependency was not love, and would never be such a term praised by the heavens…and yet, even that term didn't feel right.

As Belldandy wandered about the castle court yard, she was surprised to find Mara overseeing the safety of the children who played not too far away, though she looked bored while doing so. With a breath, she neared the golden haired demon. "A wonderful day, is it not?"

A snort was all that she was gifted. Mara was a demon of bluster, and thus, spoke very few words when unprovoked. Still, she inclined her head only slightly, giving the goddess her attention.

For a while, they stood together quietly. Then a thought came to mind. "Mara…what do you suppose love is?" Belldandy finally felt the distinct urge to ask a demon of her opinion. Although as she stood there waiting for an answer, she thought she just might be cackled at.

"Love?" The demon groused, as if the term was one she'd never heard of in her entire life.

"Yes, love." Belldandy nodded, deciding that Mara wouldn't brush aside her question outright. She took a seat beside Mara on the bench. "As a demon, what do you suppose it is?"

"Stupid." Mara bit out dryly. "Only morons think about that."

"But how do demons think of it?" Belldandy pressed. "Surely there is something…a common way that your people come to understand it."

"And you want to know?" Mara said, lifting a bored eyebrow.

"Yes, of course." Belldandy beamed, only to watch as Mara huffed an unhappy breath.

"Love….uh, well…it comes with a territory." Mara said slowly, scratching her head as if she were confused. "Stronger demons are more sought after than weaker demons….vain demons are more able to attract a partner than those who are not so vain…but love is more a bonus than a rule." Again, Mara tasted a word. "Love is something bond mates share, I suppose." She shrugged. "I'm not bonded, so I wouldn't know."

"Ah, I think I understand." Belldandy told her with a nod, but Mara didn't seem moved. "Then, was there ever a time that you wished to be bonded with another?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?!" Mara bellowed, a blush coming to her face as she grit her teeth, trying to control her temper. "Stay out of trouble, goddess." The words were forced between her dangerously glinting teeth as she fought down her embarrassment.

"It was merely a question." Belldandy said softly, holding her hands up in a surrendering way. "Please, I truly meant no harm by it."

"Yet you ask one as brash as Mara…" An unusual voice came, and so with it, a void so dark that the demon within could not be seen. "Strange little pet, aren't you?" The void cloaked woman then gazed at Mara. "Our Daimakaicho has called for you. Lady Urd is going to need an escort back up to the surface."

"Shouldn't you be the one doing it?" Mara growled, but the woman within the void didn't move, as if she wasn't at all bothered by such a retort.

"The children have class." The void then turned its attention back to Belldandy. "Answers are best sought by your master, goddess…I would not seek them out in one such as Mara."

…

Hild drummed her fingers on the armrest of her throne, gnawing uneasily at her lower lip. It was time to consider the contract in all of its glory, or rather, the lack of one she had made. A century was long enough to grant kindness to an immortal. Soon questions among her people would find her ears. Even as it stood, murmurs echoed about her interest in the goddess, her people confused about her true intentions.

Hild knew she shouldn't be surprised. Gossip happened every day, and Belldandy was indeed a good bit of eye candy.

"I will not let it be said, that I haven't considered my position." Hild breathed quietly, whilst contemplating her options. She lifted her gaze to the goddess in question. "Or that I have forgotten the one founding principle of demonic nature." It was time to make a choice, and it had to be one that was bold enough to make a statement. "I'm tired of child's play, so you have two options."

"I'm all ears." Belldandy said with a smile, looking up from some knitting she was doing.

"We force the heavens to understand the contract we have between us." Hild replied sternly. "Write a more iron clad agreement. One that is set in stone…or you return to the outskirts of heavens without any further help from me."

"I knew from the start that the unclear terms of our contract would lead to trouble." Belldandy said quietly. "If anything, I shall do something to rectify this situation. Surely if I call the heavens, they would be willing to take note of the situation."

"You are an interesting little goddess." Hild murmured, considering that. "Yet, keeping such faith in them is an idiotic hope at best."

"I agree, it's unwise to be hopeful that the heavens would see things my way." Belldandy admitted. "I understand that, but, to give up so easily is not something I can do."

"Keeping a goddess in these parts brings all sorts of complications." Hild explained as she stood from her throne. "Not to mention, the declaration you made to Urd. Frankly, it was nothing short of troublesome."

"I am unable to lie, you know this. If I could have said something else to lesson such a burden, I would have." Belldandy said in way of an apology, hoping it would be enough. "I do not have the selfsame luxuries that she is afforded, and I do not want them." She swallowed hard. "If the people I care about become unable to accept what I have to say, and least I know I have not lead them astray…that the words I spoke would never be something that would deceive them."

"Is that so?" Hild let a bitter smile fall across her face. "I will allow you to know just one thing then." She reached out, grabbing the goddess, pressing her firmly onto the nearby wall. What the movement lacked in finesse, it gained with abrupt shock. "I don't mind deception…but if you insist on the truth, here it is. If I were you, I would run away while you still can."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: *grins* Now we're getting to the fun part of this story...after all, you didn't think I'd let them off easy, did you?

**Chapter 11**

Using the power if the immortals to bind and seal away memories happened to be a terrible offense. Many turned a blind eye to it, as it was expected. Sadly, not all were so lucky. Hild happened to be one of the few blessed with the knowledge, and pardoned from receiving creation's scorn. It was a calculation by the system force, Hild was sure, but she employed the magnitude of the power anyway.

It was a dreadfully heavy burden.

Yet it was one that Hild felt the need to carry on her shoulders. She had intended to help a goddess grieve, and in return harass Tyr just a little. That was where the intention ended. That was the line that she, as a demon with vices, drew the line. Where she ultimately allowed herself to bask in the warmth of another for a short time. As a ruler that line was critical to her continual stay in power. It afforded her very little weakness, and every ounce of it was measured to the extreme.

Hild was no slouch, and she knew her actions were dangerous ones.

She could not afford to lose sight of her intended tasks and duties. The least important of which could easily send her people into anarchy. The most important ones could end creation itself. Still, for as much as she had plotted, and been plotted against, she could admit to blind spots in her intellect. For as long as she had crafted her half of creation to her ideal of perfection, or at least the nearest attainable thing to that notion, she had never expected this.

Or rather, she expected it to play out differently...it had been a coin flip, a game of chance, and she'd taken it.

Oh, had she'd taken it, and now, a goddess loved her. A first class, unlimited license goddess. A daughter of Tyr…a child born if his seed…the man Hild once loved with all of her heart. It wasn't just convoluted. It was fundamentally wrong.

"Anzasu, we have a problem." Hild said as she paced back and forth, her bows furrowed, her frown uneasy. "One I don't think easily mended."

"You mean that you have a problem…" Anzasu replied, her voice even, her words cool. "Why call me, Hild?"

"It was your idea to send Belldandy to me. She is your daughter, and thus, you hold some measure of the blame for this." Hild shot back, clad in a nightgown that left little to the imagination. "I'm asking you to help me rectify it."

"Belldandy poses a problem?" Anzasu murmured, the fog of her sleep drifting away from her in an instant. "What happened?"

"The same thing that always happens when you bind romantic and erotic feelings to the soul of another." Hild murmured quietly, shooting Anzasu a pointed look. "Now, are you going to come here, or do I have to drag you through the monitor?"

"I shall come." Anzasu replied, cutting off the video feed. It took the goddess mere moments to travel through her medium and enter one of Hild's personal rooms. She cast a seal of warding around the room, and then tossed Hild a pointed look. "Did you make a vow to her, Hild?" The goddess asked.

"Are you completely stupid?" Hild asked with a lifted eyebrow, arms crossed. "That would be a dangerous game."

Anzasu sighed, but nodded. "Then, what did happen?"

"I…I haven't a clue." Hild grimaced as she shrugged and leaned weakly against the wall. Anzasu was probably the only woman capable of seeing her this absolutely weak. "This was….well, it was out of the realm of my expectation to be quite honest." She paused, and looked up with an uneasy, aggravated shrug. "It would seem she disregards the contract…she offered herself to me, and not very timidly either."

"You didn't expect that to be an outcome?" Anzasu laughed. "I would think you would know well the risks involved in such a thing."

"I expected it." Hild answered. "I expected that she might, under different circumstances, find the intrigue of the bedroom with a demon alluring. I even guessed that she would seek one as a lover." She bit her lower lip then, a nervous action that gave truth to her words. Stifling a curse, she swallowed hard. "However, I didn't think that she would seek me." Hild shook her head. "So openly at that, and I do not think I enjoy the implication set forth by the action."

"You mean to say, that you do not enjoy considering that a heavenly soul chose you." Anzasu clarified kindly, choosing then to lean on the hand of mercy, rather than judgment afforded of her position. "If however, Belldandy were a demon, the thought would irk you very little. You would take her and lay claim to her without question." Anzasu knew this would become a very thorny situation indeed. "It is not Belldandy's attentions that drive you to distance yourself from her."

"If you know that, then come and rescue your daughter." Hild demanded heatedly. "Save her from herself, before she falls down into an abyss she can't escape from."

Anzasu sat unmoving, but her lips thinned into a tight line. With a slow blink of her eyes and a steady breath, she came to a conclusion she didn't like. "You love her…"

"Damnable word that it is." Hild hissed between her teeth. "Anzasu, I would advise that you do something…because we both know where this little experiment of Belldandy's is going to end up if this continues."

"I will not." Anzasu replied in a decidedly firm tone. "Consider this repentance, Hild."

"You will regret such a thing." Hild sighed. "You know what harm that kind of mindset could have."

Anzasu shook her head. "This is your atonement, for bedding down with Tyr while chained within your trials. Consider that this is the cause put into motion when you gave birth to Urd, and forever bound Tyr to you in a way that he could not escape…consider, if you will, that doing so is what will ultimately lead you to face that selfsame trial of judgment again, with my daughter of all people."

"You've gone mad." Hild retorted icily. "I would not presume to claim such idiocy."

Anzasu shook her head, she could not stop the events that were beginning to unfold, even if she desired to do so. "Perhaps also consider that Belldandy has already overcome the trial once before. Trust that she is not nearly as blinded by her emotions as Tyr."

"Insufferable." The demon queen hissed. "I refuse to think for a moment that you have come up with such a conclusion."

"Yet, it is the one I made, is it not?" Anzasu asked her, and Hild could no longer form a proper reply. "As an interspecies trails officer, I have an obligation…but as a mother, I pray to the Almighty that you will not fail this trial again, Hild."

The demon queen was so angry, she couldn't even speak. Words died on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she stood, seething her dark power glimmering in the palms of her hands in terrifying glory.


End file.
